Dress Red Run #1555

On a beautiful cool spring Sunday in February, 42 hounds gathered at Terry Hershey Park on Dairy Ashford for the Dress Red Run. Red dresses were not mandatory, that will cum later in the year, but, this being the closest run to Valentine's Day, red garments were the theme of
this run. Parson's Nose, a hare, was sporting a bright red lace slip and Juices Flowing was clad in red undergarments.

A beer crisis the night before was averted by the gallant Pull the Plug who arrived just before chalk talk with a Budweiser keg from Beverage King of Pasadena. Yea. PTP!

The English hounds led chalk talk while Roll Model was taking care of the keg and he warned the hounds that this trail was laid in the best English fashion.

The running hounds, according to Parson's Nose, ran east from Dairy Ashford to Kirkwood by the golf course and then looped back to Dairy Ashford, then northwest to a beer check on enclave Parkway, then north to Memorial and west across the bayou and past Eldridge through glorious shiggy to Southmayde Creek, then south again to the dead-end and on-in.

I understand Roller Balls and Polly crossed the deep bayou twice, purely by accident. The trail ran through some excellent shiggy and scenic woods but the runners were never actually expected to cross the bayou. McPisser, thinking he would short-cut the trail by running straight to the end, ran right past the keg and Pipes, who was VERRY quiet, and eventually came in after the pack.

The walking hounds had a scenic tour of the middle third of Terry Hershey Park, then met at the beer check on Enclave Parkway. Walkers then covered more of the scenic views of the park before surfacing at the TransOcean building at the dead-end of Southmayde Creek for the on-in.

The circle, RA'd by Wad to Blow, indeed had ice and many hares and hounds left the circle with wet bottoms and cold asses. The peanut butter pretzels were a big hit.

Roller Balls, the last recipient of the Hashit, bestowed the honor of carrying it to an expecting though worthy soul.

The Derby Girls were putting on a roller skating show at the roller rink emceed by Will-He Peter and refereed by Rubbin' da Boy Wanker just up the street from the official on-on-on location, Big John's on Dairy Ashford. See if you recognize any of the Houston Hashers in the photo of the Derby Girls below

Hash Trash #1552

Hash #1552: Pooper Bowl 2008
Date: Feb 3, 2008
Hares: McPisser, Cums Anyway, NARC
Location Start: Westview and Blalock

H4's 2008 Pooper Bowl Hash #1552 was hared by the effervescent Cums Anyway along with live haring supplied by non-other than N.A.R.C. and the ever-svelte McPisser. It was a quick trail, punctuated by an early beer/water stop from the back of WillHePeter' s car, then on-on through the pastoral splendor of Spring Branch. The prediction for rain gave way to high humidity and the steamy 3-3.5 mile run was over soon enough to guarantee sufficient mayhem in the Reverend's bucolic backyard. Actually, multiple parties were going on simultaneously with the occasional spill over of the odd civilian. It was a great recipe for a party.

And speaking of recipes, Heart Ache became the main ingredient of a haggis "cook-off" as the proud recipient of this year's Pooper Bowl award. McPisser broke with the "sorta" tradition by not bestowing the honor to an opposite sex member (unless there are things about Heart Ache that are as yet undisclosed) , but I digress... Word is that at least one of the new boots appeared to be just a little horrified at the spectacle of Heart Ache being slathered in haggis ingredients. The worst haggis was yellow and in liquid form and poured directly over HA's head. HEAD! who...? The excitement made us hungry and fortunately. ..

A bountiful table was offered with to-die-for brisket, beans, trimmings AND the winning haggis, skillfully prepared by Grind Slut and cooked in the stomachs of a goat. Yum! Party lubrication for the sizable crowd was in the form of fine St. Arnolds amber as well as a keg of Lone Star, some wine, plus margaritas from somewhere in the front yard.

As the sky darkened, Half Moon's technical wizardry came into play with high-definition TV projecting some kind of sports event onto an amazingly good surface, probably a white sheet but it looked as good as any big screen TV in a bar. The stunning upset was inevitable with the passing of the St. Arnold keg and eventually the game ended too. It wasn't until the bitter end that your scribe learned of the trash writing task at hand. Otherwise he might have paid more attention. Sorry if I missed you.

buSh sNapPer

Hash Trash #1548 McPisser version

#1548 King Cakes in Kingwood
Hash: #1548 King Cakes in Kingwood
Hares: Rain Bitch, Wet n Dry, Spot on the Mat
Date: 1-6-2008
Location: Kingwood Drive, Kingwood, Texas

The hash line offered rather ominous directions, but 69 die-hard hashers made their way to the far back of Kingwood to run the King's Cake in the Woods in Kingwood hash. King's Cake is traditionally eaten on Jan. 6 on the first day of Mardi Gras.

Rain Bitch led the chalk talk and promised us several checks, more than one back check and water crossings. Trail started in the woods and crossed a bayou. Most hashers walked across the stones to cross the bayou while a couple of short-cutters had waded though a deeper part of the bayou. Then long straight-aways through developing neighborhoods for the walkers, while the runners trail ran through a GLORIOUS peace of shiggy that you just can't find in the city. The walker's trail got lost because the one who had verbal directions, Frannie Panni, abandoned them for the runners so the walkers were the last in.

The ON-ON had a great circle RA'd by Wad to Blow. Visitors included the entire Galveston crew, Santa Claus, Pearl Necklace, Can't Touch This, Pleather Balls and Living Proof from San Antonio. We celebrated Will-He Peter's 54th birthday and Spot on the mat gave him beer goggles.

This run also brought out quite a few re-boots we haven't seen for a while like Chicken Choker and Pump Me, Turtle Brains and The Pitts, DoppleGangBanger and Bleeder, to name but a few. Pearl Necklace brought a new boot as did NARC.

I remember a good accusation of Tai Tai Toy against Womb Service. Something about throwing his glasses. The hares were recognized for having 69 attendees. Grindslut stood in for Gaslight on one accusation and McPisser stood in for Cums Anyway (Giggles), who was glaringly absent, on another. And then it got lame…

Before the circle was officially over, several bored hounds started circling the excellent stew provided by Rainbitch like vultures. We had Beef Stew and Vegetarian Stew. All yummy!

The hashers retired to Hoot Country on Greens Rd. on the way back to town for another attempt at ON-ON-ON of the year, where there was pole dancing again , just like last time!! Just good friends, laughter, good beer and line dancing.

Faithfully submitted and ON-ON,

--- Roll Model & McPisser ----

Hash Trash #1551

Hash Trash #1551
Hares: Cock Broker, Pipes
Date: Jan. 27, 2005
Location: Heights area
End: Pipe's House
On-On-On: Shady Tavern

The tradition of noticing 26 January began early in the nineteenth century with Sydney almanacs referring to First Landing Day or Foundation Day. That was the day in 1788 Captain Arthur Phillip, commander of the First Fleet of eleven convict ships from Great Britain and the first governor of New South Wales, arrived at Sydney Cove. The raising of the Union Jack there symbolized British occupation of the eastern half of the continent claimed by Captain James Cook on 22 August in 1770.

Pipes' much-anticipated Australian Day Hash started at the Big Lots on N. Shepherd. The OTR had run in this same area just two days earlier, so Pipes introduced a new mark during chalk talk: the chalk line that said, "Don't go past this point!"

The hounds were off in a northwestern direction through the Houston Heights. Mc Pisser was seen coming back on a check and many hounds assumed he'd come across a false. "No," he remembered in the circle later, "that was true trail. I just didn't want to get my feet wet in the bayou!"

A couple of bayous and warehouse alleys and neighborhood streets later, the hounds converged on Pipes and Cock Broker's house off T.C. Jester. Lone Star was served and Cock Broker's excellent chili and spinach dip went quickly.

The circle saw many accusations and then Polly knocked over a pitcher of beer. Bad Polly!!! Roller Balls was issued the new Hash Shit for that…a ghastly back pack retrieved from the bayous of the last hash and given away by the last recipient, Power Tool, who had adorned it with a condom that expired in 1999. Roller drank from the vessel attached to the Hash Shit while Polly smirked.

Asswipe made a new boot, Kevin, cum, and he was recognized as were birthdays and anniversaries (Roll Model – TEN YEARS OF HASHING!). When the beer was gone, the hounds left for the on-on-on, announced to be at Marty's Bar at 23rd and Ella. A private party called for a new location, the Shady Tavern on 20th. A great turnout called for a HUGE bonfire, more beer and much rejoicing.

Happy Australian Day! Thanks, Pipes and Cock Broker!

---- Faithfully submitted by Roll Model ----

Hash Trash #1550

Hares:
Eight Inch Crack, Steps in Shit, Pull the Plug
Date: Jan 20, 2008
Location: Pasadena, TX

The aforementioned virgin hares, for inexplicable reasons, decided to lay a trail and for inexplicable reasons forty hashers showed up. The virgins went partners with Pull the Plug to lay the trail in the newly suburbanized part of Pasadena, the part where subdivisions are gradually replacing the horse pastures and light industry. The RA had arranged clear weather but as the wind picked up, it got chilly. Then it got cold. Then it got colder, especially the part of the trail which was knee deep in the previous day's rain.

There really wasn't any way to run the trail with dry feet, not even if you bypassed the beer check or the stretch of swamp which followed it. Hooter Bill was spotted setting down an unopened can of beer after the beer check, rather like a squirrel caching acorns for winter.

Pull the Plug was concerned that a train was sitting on the railroad tracks along Old Galveston Road, where the hares had scouted trail. At the chalk talk, he warned the runners to go behind the train rather than in front but by the time we got to the tracks the train had dropped off so many cars it was down to the size of a Metro commuter train.

You couldn't really fault the hares for much on this trail, so we seized on the fact that the Beer Near mark was NOT near. The trail was about the right length and though Blue Balls and Hooter Bill competed fiercely to be DFL, in the very end Geek and Lorna Doones came walking in just as the sky was turning dark, accusations were going from lame to WTF and hashers were leaving for fear of frostbite.

Yours,
Silent Dick

Houston Marathon Recap

Records Abound at the 36^th Running of the

Chevron Houston Marathon, Aramco Houston Half Marathon

Female winner shatters 2007 record; race draws largest field ever

HOUSTON, Jan. 13, 2008 – More than 20,000 participants, a race record, lined up on a weather-perfect morning for the 36^th running of the Chevron Houston Marathon trio of races. Among the records set, Dire Tune obliterated her 2007 record by a staggering 2 minutes, 12 seconds for back-to-back victories in the marathon.

Tune, 22, of Ethiopia set a course record 2:24:40, besting her 2007 record of 2:26:52. Worknesh Tola, 30, of Ethiopia, finished second in 2:35:37.

In the men’s race, David Cheruiyot, the 2005 and 2006 marathon winner, returned to Houston to claim his third victory in four years.

Cheruiyot, 37, of Kenya had a closer race, finishing in 2:12:32, just 13 seconds ahead of Kasime Adilo of Ethiopia. With his victory, Cheruiyot joins Stephen Ndungu as the second three-time winner of the Houston Marathon.

In the Aramco Houston Half Marathon, which serves as the USA Half Marathon Championships, James Carney clocked a 1:02:21, eleven seconds ahead of Jason Lehmkuhle. Kate O’Neill, 27, broke the tape in 1:11:57, 13 seconds ahead of Desiree Davila.

“We are proud the Chevron Houston Marathon and the Aramco Houston Half Marathon continue to attract some of the finest athletes in the world, proven by yet another year of record-setting performances,” said Brant Kotch, race director. “None of this would be possible without the support of our sponsors, our army of 5,000 volunteers and the quarter of a million spectators who line the streets of Houston on race day. They combine to provide a world-class experience for all participants.”

Tune, who hopes to make the 2008 Ethiopian Olympic team, said she expected to run a record time, but was concerned about the breezy conditions on an otherwise ideal day. For her victory, Tune pocketed $25,000 and an additional $10,000 for the record.

O’Neill, of Palo Alto, California and Carney, 29, of Boulder, Colorado, fresh off his 2:16:54 showing at the U.S. Olympic Trial marathon in November, take home $12,000 each in prize money.

The races are expected to raise a record $1 million for 44 charities associated with the Houston Marathon Committee’s Run for a Reason charity program.

The Chevron Houston Marathon, a Running USA founding member, is the nation’s premier winter marathon, annually attracting participants from all 50 U.S. states and nearly 30 foreign countries. In 2008, more than 23,000 runners took part in four marathon weekend events (marathon, half marathon, 5K and children’s run). The Chevron Houston Marathon offers the only closed marathon course in Texas and is ranked among the top five in the nation by the Ultimate Guide to Marathons for fastest course, organization and crowd support. More than 5,000 volunteers organize the race, which is Houston’s largest single-day sporting event.

Hashers runnin in the Marathon

Hashers running Sunday:
Here's the list (as best I recall from emails):
Marathon - 26.2
Manhandler
Jane Does
Grind Slut
Gas Light
John Boy
Closet Freak
Butt Pirate
Prison Pussy
Little Boy Blew
Free Pussy

Half Marathon - 13.1
Cock Broker
Queen of Denial
Saran Crap
McPisser
CIA
Vaseline Queen
8" Crack
Cock Ring
Pearl Necklace
Sparkle Plenty
Tai Tai Toy
Hind Legs