Hash Trash #1548 McPisser version

#1548 King Cakes in Kingwood
Hash: #1548 King Cakes in Kingwood
Hares: Rain Bitch, Wet n Dry, Spot on the Mat
Date: 1-6-2008
Location: Kingwood Drive, Kingwood, Texas

The hash line offered rather ominous directions, but 69 die-hard hashers made their way to the far back of Kingwood to run the King's Cake in the Woods in Kingwood hash. King's Cake is traditionally eaten on Jan. 6 on the first day of Mardi Gras.

Rain Bitch led the chalk talk and promised us several checks, more than one back check and water crossings. Trail started in the woods and crossed a bayou. Most hashers walked across the stones to cross the bayou while a couple of short-cutters had waded though a deeper part of the bayou. Then long straight-aways through developing neighborhoods for the walkers, while the runners trail ran through a GLORIOUS peace of shiggy that you just can't find in the city. The walker's trail got lost because the one who had verbal directions, Frannie Panni, abandoned them for the runners so the walkers were the last in.

The ON-ON had a great circle RA'd by Wad to Blow. Visitors included the entire Galveston crew, Santa Claus, Pearl Necklace, Can't Touch This, Pleather Balls and Living Proof from San Antonio. We celebrated Will-He Peter's 54th birthday and Spot on the mat gave him beer goggles.

This run also brought out quite a few re-boots we haven't seen for a while like Chicken Choker and Pump Me, Turtle Brains and The Pitts, DoppleGangBanger and Bleeder, to name but a few. Pearl Necklace brought a new boot as did NARC.

I remember a good accusation of Tai Tai Toy against Womb Service. Something about throwing his glasses. The hares were recognized for having 69 attendees. Grindslut stood in for Gaslight on one accusation and McPisser stood in for Cums Anyway (Giggles), who was glaringly absent, on another. And then it got lame…

Before the circle was officially over, several bored hounds started circling the excellent stew provided by Rainbitch like vultures. We had Beef Stew and Vegetarian Stew. All yummy!

The hashers retired to Hoot Country on Greens Rd. on the way back to town for another attempt at ON-ON-ON of the year, where there was pole dancing again , just like last time!! Just good friends, laughter, good beer and line dancing.

Faithfully submitted and ON-ON,

--- Roll Model & McPisser ----

Hash Trash #1551

Hash Trash #1551
Hares: Cock Broker, Pipes
Date: Jan. 27, 2005
Location: Heights area
End: Pipe's House
On-On-On: Shady Tavern

The tradition of noticing 26 January began early in the nineteenth century with Sydney almanacs referring to First Landing Day or Foundation Day. That was the day in 1788 Captain Arthur Phillip, commander of the First Fleet of eleven convict ships from Great Britain and the first governor of New South Wales, arrived at Sydney Cove. The raising of the Union Jack there symbolized British occupation of the eastern half of the continent claimed by Captain James Cook on 22 August in 1770.

Pipes' much-anticipated Australian Day Hash started at the Big Lots on N. Shepherd. The OTR had run in this same area just two days earlier, so Pipes introduced a new mark during chalk talk: the chalk line that said, "Don't go past this point!"

The hounds were off in a northwestern direction through the Houston Heights. Mc Pisser was seen coming back on a check and many hounds assumed he'd come across a false. "No," he remembered in the circle later, "that was true trail. I just didn't want to get my feet wet in the bayou!"

A couple of bayous and warehouse alleys and neighborhood streets later, the hounds converged on Pipes and Cock Broker's house off T.C. Jester. Lone Star was served and Cock Broker's excellent chili and spinach dip went quickly.

The circle saw many accusations and then Polly knocked over a pitcher of beer. Bad Polly!!! Roller Balls was issued the new Hash Shit for that…a ghastly back pack retrieved from the bayous of the last hash and given away by the last recipient, Power Tool, who had adorned it with a condom that expired in 1999. Roller drank from the vessel attached to the Hash Shit while Polly smirked.

Asswipe made a new boot, Kevin, cum, and he was recognized as were birthdays and anniversaries (Roll Model – TEN YEARS OF HASHING!). When the beer was gone, the hounds left for the on-on-on, announced to be at Marty's Bar at 23rd and Ella. A private party called for a new location, the Shady Tavern on 20th. A great turnout called for a HUGE bonfire, more beer and much rejoicing.

Happy Australian Day! Thanks, Pipes and Cock Broker!

---- Faithfully submitted by Roll Model ----

Hash Trash #1550

Hares:
Eight Inch Crack, Steps in Shit, Pull the Plug
Date: Jan 20, 2008
Location: Pasadena, TX

The aforementioned virgin hares, for inexplicable reasons, decided to lay a trail and for inexplicable reasons forty hashers showed up. The virgins went partners with Pull the Plug to lay the trail in the newly suburbanized part of Pasadena, the part where subdivisions are gradually replacing the horse pastures and light industry. The RA had arranged clear weather but as the wind picked up, it got chilly. Then it got cold. Then it got colder, especially the part of the trail which was knee deep in the previous day's rain.

There really wasn't any way to run the trail with dry feet, not even if you bypassed the beer check or the stretch of swamp which followed it. Hooter Bill was spotted setting down an unopened can of beer after the beer check, rather like a squirrel caching acorns for winter.

Pull the Plug was concerned that a train was sitting on the railroad tracks along Old Galveston Road, where the hares had scouted trail. At the chalk talk, he warned the runners to go behind the train rather than in front but by the time we got to the tracks the train had dropped off so many cars it was down to the size of a Metro commuter train.

You couldn't really fault the hares for much on this trail, so we seized on the fact that the Beer Near mark was NOT near. The trail was about the right length and though Blue Balls and Hooter Bill competed fiercely to be DFL, in the very end Geek and Lorna Doones came walking in just as the sky was turning dark, accusations were going from lame to WTF and hashers were leaving for fear of frostbite.

Yours,
Silent Dick

Houston Marathon Recap

Records Abound at the 36^th Running of the

Chevron Houston Marathon, Aramco Houston Half Marathon

Female winner shatters 2007 record; race draws largest field ever

HOUSTON, Jan. 13, 2008 – More than 20,000 participants, a race record, lined up on a weather-perfect morning for the 36^th running of the Chevron Houston Marathon trio of races. Among the records set, Dire Tune obliterated her 2007 record by a staggering 2 minutes, 12 seconds for back-to-back victories in the marathon.

Tune, 22, of Ethiopia set a course record 2:24:40, besting her 2007 record of 2:26:52. Worknesh Tola, 30, of Ethiopia, finished second in 2:35:37.

In the men’s race, David Cheruiyot, the 2005 and 2006 marathon winner, returned to Houston to claim his third victory in four years.

Cheruiyot, 37, of Kenya had a closer race, finishing in 2:12:32, just 13 seconds ahead of Kasime Adilo of Ethiopia. With his victory, Cheruiyot joins Stephen Ndungu as the second three-time winner of the Houston Marathon.

In the Aramco Houston Half Marathon, which serves as the USA Half Marathon Championships, James Carney clocked a 1:02:21, eleven seconds ahead of Jason Lehmkuhle. Kate O’Neill, 27, broke the tape in 1:11:57, 13 seconds ahead of Desiree Davila.

“We are proud the Chevron Houston Marathon and the Aramco Houston Half Marathon continue to attract some of the finest athletes in the world, proven by yet another year of record-setting performances,” said Brant Kotch, race director. “None of this would be possible without the support of our sponsors, our army of 5,000 volunteers and the quarter of a million spectators who line the streets of Houston on race day. They combine to provide a world-class experience for all participants.”

Tune, who hopes to make the 2008 Ethiopian Olympic team, said she expected to run a record time, but was concerned about the breezy conditions on an otherwise ideal day. For her victory, Tune pocketed $25,000 and an additional $10,000 for the record.

O’Neill, of Palo Alto, California and Carney, 29, of Boulder, Colorado, fresh off his 2:16:54 showing at the U.S. Olympic Trial marathon in November, take home $12,000 each in prize money.

The races are expected to raise a record $1 million for 44 charities associated with the Houston Marathon Committee’s Run for a Reason charity program.

The Chevron Houston Marathon, a Running USA founding member, is the nation’s premier winter marathon, annually attracting participants from all 50 U.S. states and nearly 30 foreign countries. In 2008, more than 23,000 runners took part in four marathon weekend events (marathon, half marathon, 5K and children’s run). The Chevron Houston Marathon offers the only closed marathon course in Texas and is ranked among the top five in the nation by the Ultimate Guide to Marathons for fastest course, organization and crowd support. More than 5,000 volunteers organize the race, which is Houston’s largest single-day sporting event.

Hashers runnin in the Marathon

Hashers running Sunday:
Here's the list (as best I recall from emails):
Marathon - 26.2
Manhandler
Jane Does
Grind Slut
Gas Light
John Boy
Closet Freak
Butt Pirate
Prison Pussy
Little Boy Blew
Free Pussy

Half Marathon - 13.1
Cock Broker
Queen of Denial
Saran Crap
McPisser
CIA
Vaseline Queen
8" Crack
Cock Ring
Pearl Necklace
Sparkle Plenty
Tai Tai Toy
Hind Legs

Marathon Sunday 01.13.08

Marathon Sunday is always a fun time. Come out and help cheer on the runners as they do 13.1 miles in the half-marathon or 26.2 in the full marathon. Lots of warm chili and cold beer for both the runner and volunteers. The theme this year is Beach Party. The hash is responsible for mile 24 from Montrose Blvd to Sabine on Allen Parkway.

After the marathon, there will be a volunteer party at the Brewery Tap downtown at 717 Franklin Street. After the volunteer party there will be a hash trail laid by Powertool. Length should be about 1/10 of a marathon.

#1548 King Cakes in Kingwood

Hash: #1548 King Cakes in Kingwood
Hares: Rain Bitch, Wet n Dry, Spot on the Mat
Date: 1-6-2008
Location: Kingwood Drive, Kingwood, Texas


The hash line offered rather ominous directions, but 69 die-hard hashers made their way to the suburbs of Kingwood to run the King’s Cake in the Woodlands
hash (that was really in Kingwood). King’s Cake is celebrated on Jan. 6 as the beginning of Mardi Gras.

Rain Bitch led the chalk talk and promised us several
checks, more than one back check and water crossings. Trail started in the woods and crossed a bayou. Most hashers waded across the bayou but a few clever ones managed to cross and keep their feet dry. Then long straight-aways through developing
neighborhoods.

The walker’s trail got lost because the one who had verbal directions, Frannie Panni, abandoned them for the runners so the walkers were the last in.
The ON-ON had a great circle RA’d by Wad to Blow. Visitors included the entire Galveston crew, Santa Claus, Pearl Necklace, Can’t Touch This,
Pleatherballs and Living Proof from San Antonio. We celebrated Will-He Peter’s 54th birthday and Spot on the mat gave him beer goggles.

This run also brought out quite a few re-boots we haven’t seen for a while like Chicken Choker and Pump Me, Turtle Brains and The Pitts, Dopple-Ganger and Bleeder, to name but a few. Pearl Necklace brought a new boot as did NARC.

I remember a good accusation of Tai Tai Toy against Womb Service. Something about throwing his glasses. The hares were recognized for having 69 attendees. Grindslut stood in for Gaslight on one accusation and McPisser stood in for Cums Anyway (Giggles), who was glaringly absent, on another. And then it got lame…

Before the circle was officially over, several bored hounds started circling the excellent stew provided by Rainbitch like vultures. We had Beef Stew and
Vegetarian Stew. All yummy!

The hashers retired to Hoot Country on Greens Rd. on the way back to town for another attempt at ON-ON-ON of the year, but there was no pole dancing this time. Just good friends, laughter, good beer and line dancing.

Faithfully submitted and ON-ON,
--- Roll Model ----
Thanks to Rainbitch for helping me fill in some gaps.
Photo courtesy of Rubbin’ the Boy Wanker.

Hash Trash PDF Format

Hangover Helper Hash

Hangover Helper Hash
Date: 1.1.08
Hares: Out of Tuna / Anal 101
Location: 2115 Avalon Place in River Oaks

On a clear but chilly and breezy New Year's Day, Anal 101 and Outa Tuna hosted a run in the River Oaks area for hashers recovering from the previous night. The trail ran past some landmarks in the Anal-Tuna family, including the Petco in honor of the wounded Ripley, Grady's elementary school, and the home of Tuna's grandmother, who died in 2007. The six-mile trail ran around the high-rising yuppie residences in the Shepherd-San Felipe area before ending up at Happy Meal Park.

Roller Balls didn't start with the pack but joined when he noticed the hash parade running past his house. He brought his dog, Polly, no doubt for her body heat since the hash was shivering in the wind chill.

The Short Report. The first runners back were Grind Slut and French Drip, who had cleverly ranged and found a false mark which led them to a check, enabling them to cut at least a mile off the trail. The runner-up was Pee Pee, who had been handicapped by a baby jogger.

As the married hares were discussing administrative details like setting up the camp stove with rice and sausage, and/or the fire brazier with the decommissioned Christmas tree Anal intended to burn, Tuna offered a suggestion. Anal demurred and said, "But, I like your paranoia."

I overheard and commented, "Yes, and I like her pair o'...". Suddenly remembering I was talking to her husband, I finished "...eyes."

Grind Slut served as Religious Advisor. Since the RA drinks more than anybody else at a hash circle, this was a last gulp for Grind, who is going on the wagon until Marathon Day. He swears not to touch a brew until the Hash Mile. Which, by the way, seems by consensus to have a beach party theme this year. I don't know about you, but I plan to shop for a grass skirt with a fleece lining.

On-on,
Silent Dick